Alia Bhatt on feeling guilty after Gully Boy: I was like ‘did I work hard’ or ‘why do I deserve this kind of appreciation’

Alia Bhatt has ‘understood the balance’ that is required in her ‘obsession with work’ but beyond a point, she has to withdraw.

It’s a rare feat of sorts. Since her debut in 2012 [with Student of The Year], Alia Bhatt hasn’t witnessed too many professional [box-office] setbacks. But 2019 was an aberration. So, on one hand, she got rave reviews for her outing in Gully Boy, she also starred in Kalank that didn’t draw audiences. And the actor readily admits the “disappointment” part that came along with the failure.

“Anyone who goes on a journey that you have a lot of expectations from is going to feel a certain kind of disappointment. Till date, I have not had too many failures; maybe there are two of them. And my learning through both of them has been very different. But the main thing I’ve learnt is that you’ve to keep your head down, work hard and give your best at everything you do. Sometimes, you’ll go right and at times, you’ll go wrong as well,” she says.

Alia, who has had several hits to credit by now, feels failures have only “taught her invaluable lessons.” “As an actor, an entertainer and even as a person, I have understood the balance that is required in my obsession with work, wherein I am very ambitious and passionate about films, acting, the art and everything. But beyond a point, I can’t get too attached to the successes or the failures,” says the actor, who has a packed line-up in 2020 with several back-to-back biggies.

“I derive my joy and happiness by being in front of the camera and learning through people I interact with on sets – whether it’s my director, co-actors or even the technicians. That’s my bliss. And after that, whatever happens is the result of the hard work that everybody puts in. Hopefully, one goes more right than wrong but I feel sometimes, you have to go wrong to understand the importance of going right. And that’s something not in your control,” says the actor.

Vis-à-vis her film choices, Alia has been mixing it up since the start of her career, and she continues to do the same in 2020 as well. But does she find a lot of difference in terms of approaching her parts in completely dissimilar films like Raazi and Gully Boy? “Shooting for Raazi was a little emotional [experience], also because I shot it at one go, with no break in between. Probably, that’s why the character really connected and stayed with me. But vis-à-vis Gully Boy, the way I looked at the character was really fun and easy. It was like a break from all my intense characters,” he says.

Why’s Alia feeling guilty!

“Though Gully Boy was intense, I had a lot of fun shooting for it, mainly due to Safina’s infectious spirit. I remember feeling happy every day, which is very unusual for me because usually, I am self-critical and don’t like talking too much about my work. Now, when people tell me how amazing my performance is in it, I feel guilty as I am like: ‘did I work hard’ or ‘why do I deserve this kind of appreciation.’ Personally, I too enjoyed watching my performance [in Gully Boy], which usually doesn’t happen. I enjoyed the film since it’s so beautiful and has been an unusual experience.”